Sunday, 20 May 2007

2004 - Changes in Agoraphobia

Although Marie's agoraphobia wasn't getting any worse regarding her getting out and about - it wasn't getting much better, either - there were some new aspects opening up. For example, she now needed Peter's pram with us no matter where we went. Often she had to have it with her to walk somewhere, even if Peter wasn't with us. She used to get comments like "Hey! You've lost your baby!". It used to embarrass me to be walking around with someone pushing an empty pram. But I kept thinking, It's only temporary - remember she used to carry her camcorder around everywhere when you first met her? And I felt ashamed of myself for being embarrassed anyway. Marie had a problem I didn't have, and she was coping as best she could.

Then there was her car. She really didn't use it much. I used it more than she did - for short trips. But she insisted that it was parked right beside the road and she would get really upset if anyone parked in front of her.

And the mobile phone. She insisted that I carry my mobile around with me no matter where I went. When I first met her, I didn't even have a mobile. Now I had to be in contact by mobile all the time if at all possible.

And the safe people...they all had to be able to drive a car and have one outside their house or Marie couldn't stay there. She could no longer stay at the house of her good friend, Caerwyn, even though she used to live there!

All these extra demands put extra pressure on me, and sometimes we would have rows about one or more of them.

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