Thursday, 22 October 2009

Agoraphobia - another slap in the face

Marie's first reaction to my decision to go and see my daughter and critically ill grandson was, ”What am I going to do?”

This is the nature of agoraphobia. Its needs must be met before anything else can be considered.

Marie has never been able to stay at home while I was outside our local area. Therefore I had to arrange for Marie to stay at her parents' house while I was in Ireland and for one of my daughters – Colleen – to look after her until she could get there. The downside of all of this was that the children would miss school during my absence.

While travelling to Ireland it suddenly occurred to me that if I was hospitalised we would have the same problems. When I was last in hospital with kidney problems, two of my adult daughters were still living at home. They were able to look after Marie and the children. They even brought Marie to see me in hospital. Now that they had moved out, it would seem that if I was to go into hospital, not only would Marie have to go to her parents', 1½ hours' drive away (thus not able to visit me often), but also the children's education would be interrupted.

Not a happy state of affairs.

I was therefore pleasantly surprised to learn, when I phoned Marie from Ireland, that she was still at home. Colleen had driven Marie to Weymouth to collect my mother-in-law. Marie's mother was now staying at our house, and would stay until I returned home from Ireland. She would be taking the children to school.

Marie now knows that she can stay at home – albeit with a “safe” person – when I am away.

This is a great relief to me and, although they don't realise it, a great benefit for the children.

Equally important, it is another slap in the face for Marie's agoraphobia/monophobia demon.


Crystal Jigsaw said...

Perhaps a step forward too?

CJ xx

Robert said...

CJ - I really hope so.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Hope this gets to you. Have problems deciding what details the computer wants!
Re the baby. i was born wartime, out of wedlock, put in a shoebox by the fire christened to be buried.
I will be seventy next month. All will be fine I'm sure. thinking of you all.

momcat said...

Thats a big step forward and the good thing, all organised without your assistance. Tell Marie well done!

Robert said...

GOK - that's quite an entrance into the world! I'm glad you made it! Matthew continues to improve - if a little slowly. I think he'll be ok in the end.

Robert said...

momcat - I've passed on your "well done!" to Marie. She's feeling quite pleased with herself.

Anonymous said...

You are always so positive - I'm really glad little Matthew & Marie are moving forward..
Cathie (cant work out how to link to my blogger name because I am a thicket)

Katy said...

Hey i follow your blog, i have Agoraphobia and sever health anxietys. i know what marie is going through and cant be left alone, im terrified. i dont know what i will do if my husband ever has to go into hospital as i only feel safe with him :( Well done to marie, i dont have kids and im 27 but its a real struggle.

Best wishes Katy

Robert said...

Hi Cathie - thanks for the lovely comment!

Hi Katy - Thanks for dropping in! I'm sorry to read that your anxiety level has increased. I hope that it will pass. Marie did do well - so well that she's going to try it again next week!

Faith Hoffen said...

Hi Robert,

I'm glad to hear that she's improving at least a little.
I'm glad they caught the baby's problem in time. That must have been a miracle!

Take care,

Faith H.

Robert said...

Thanks Faith - "miracle" is the right word!