Coming out of Depression

Marie's depression eased significantly as soon as she went to her parent's house. I expected this. She's left a place with responsibilities and demands she couldn't deal with and has gone to a place without them. She doesn't sleep or go online as much as she did. She doesn't need the escape so much.

She has decided to use this time at her parents' house to work on her agoraphobia. She's also renewing her relationship with her bike, riding around her parents' garden and a short distance down the road (albeit accompanied by her father). With no fixed routine and no children in tow, Marie can now go out when she feels like it and try going into shops, cafés etc. She doesn't have to worry about anyone else's agenda. With this in mind, she's decided to stay in Weymouth for a few weeks - hopefully to return as a more complete person. I'll visit her with the children at weekends.

We didn't visit her this weekend because our home really needed tidied and cleaned. Two of my older daughters helped me by amusing the children and assisting with the cleaning. I managed to make the house more manageable so that the forthcoming week would be less of a challenge. I also gave the kids some valuable time by taking them out (the weather here has been superb for the time of year - the daffodils are beginning to sprout already!) into the fresh winter air. Today, with two daughters and 3 grandchildren, we went for a long walk in a local forest. Everyone came back covered in mud (especially Collette's dog) but it was a very enjoyable interlude.

It's just typical of life that next week I will - unusually - be at work in North Devon and away from home for 10 hours each day. I feel somewhat guilty that the children will only see me for a couple of hours a day, but after the weekend I will be working at home or in the building adjacent and my hours will be much more flexible. I'm just glad that we had such an enjoyable weekend.

Although Marie and I converse a couple of times every day, and the children talk to her at least once, we'll all be glad to see her next weekend. Hopefully she'll be feeling lots better and we'll be able to look forward to her returning here in a positive frame of mind.

DEPRESSION & agoraphobia

Marie has depression.


She rarely has it, but she's got it now.
It started on New Year's Day and has got progressively worse.
She thought about how crap her life was and started crying.
Now she has cries easily and often.


She withdrew from her "normal" life.
Her sleeping time increased dramatically & the rest of her day was spent online.
She wasn't interested in her kids, her family or her home.
She decided to stay with her parents for a while.


The good news is - she's not so scared of her parents' house.

But the children & I miss her.


Meanwhile....


I am working (for 2 weeks) at a branch of my business in North Devon.

This is the sort of scenery in this area, a few minutes' walk from where I work.


These pictures were taken at 890' (22.61m) above sea level.


Isn't it the scenery wonderful?

How can life be so simultaneously beautiful and crap?

Ghosts - a new anxiety

Mid-morning, on a quiet residential street. Maureen is opening the gate to her driveway and her next-door neighbour Fred is walking past.

"Hello Maureen," says Fred, flashing her a friendly smile.
"Oh hello Fred," replies Maureen who has just noticed him and is securing the gates in the open position. "Did you have a nice Christmas? Lots of family around?"
"Yes, very nice time indeed. My daughter Jane and her family came to stay with us for a few days over the holiday period." Fred's house, like Maureen's is capacious and seldom fully used.
"We had Karen staying with us and then Kim and Gary her family and his family all came here for Christmas dinner, so we had quite a full house," says Maureen.
"Yes, we noticed that you were having a fancy dress party on Christmas night. We thought it was a good idea. Victorian theme, was it? Or Georgian?"
"Victorian? Georgian? What made you think that?" Maureen looks puzzled.
"Well, you know that we have a clear view of your upstairs landing and hallway, don't you? On Christmas night Jane called out to me and her mum, 'Look mum and dad - they're having a fancy dress party next door. Come and see the costumes!' We had a look but all we actually saw was one lady wearing an old-fashioned fancy dress and a bonnet. She was walking along the hallway. I thought that it looked like a Victorian outfit, but my wife thought that it could be Georgian or even older."
"I don't know what you saw," says Maureen, but we didn't have any party, fancy dress or otherwise. Just people over for Christmas dinner.

It's Fred's turn to look puzzled.

"So who do you think we saw that night...?"

There is no answer to that question, and the question hangs in mid-air.

Maureen is aware that her house has a reputation for being haunted, although she has never had any paranormal experiences herself. Her daughter had reported feeling "drawn" down the first-floor hall towards the end bedroom. The last owner of the house claimed that she had seen some objects move of their own accord. A man had been found dead in the house many, many years ago, and Maureen always assumed that the ghost - if there was such a thing - was this man. Now she has some new material to consider...

Maureen is Marie's mother, and this is the recently acquired family home in Weymouth. We used to spend one weekend a month at Marie's parents' house - the old house - but Marie has never felt totally at home with the new house. Too big for comfort for an agoraphobic. Joseph, who has never been told about the house's history, spent a week here in October and since his return has refused to go to sleep unless the light is on and his bedroom door open. Too scared, he says, but he doesn't know what he is scared of. Coincidence? I am ambivalent about this. Insufficient evidence. But for Marie, this has given birth to a new anxiety, and I think our weekends in Weymouth are, at least temporarily, over.