Single Parent with 3 Kids

In my last post, I wrote "Things can only get better."

I was premature.

Things have got worse.

But not much worse - and the situation seems to have stabilised.

Marie sleeps about 12 hours a day and when she's awake, she's extremely lethargic. I get to look after the children, the housework, the cooking, the laundry, the bills, my business and Marie - not listed in any particular order. I am, de facto, a single parent; and Marie is the 3rd child.

I thought that it was just a phase that Marie was going through, so I coped - barely - and waited for things to change. But change didn't come, so I started to wonder what was the cause of Marie's untypical behaviour. One of my daughters (not Orla, of course!) mentioned medication side-effects. Of course! Why hadn't I thought of it? I checked out the leaflet that came with Marie's Citalopram and there, under "common side-effects" was - tiredness, dizziness, nausea etc. - all the things Marie has been complaining about. But why now? Marie started Citaloprom several monthe ago. Surely the time for side-effects had passed?

When I mentioned my suspicion that she was suffering from medication side-effects, Marie was visibly relieved. I guess she had been worrying about her abnormal drowsiness. Then she explained how several weeks ago, feeling pretty good, she decided that she didn't need her medication any more. A couple of weeks later, not feeling so good any more, she realised that she had made a mistake, and started her medication again. This was when the side effects began to appear.

I spoke to the doctor next day. The doctor confirmed my belief that when Marie re-started her medication, she should have started on a lower concentration and worked her way up. The doctor subsequently came out to see Marie, gave her a good check over and pronounced her to be in excellent health. She recommended a weaker dose of Citaloprim and told Marie that the unwelcome side-effects should disappear in "a month or so".

So...another month as a de facto single parent...I can cope with that, no problem. But more importantly, my "old" Marie will be returning to me soon. Now, that's good news.

Things...can only get better

Did you ever notice that when one thing goes wrong, more problems follow in quick succession?

Marie has been sleeping lots. Up to 14 hours a day. Not every day, but lots of days. So I have more domestic duties to perform or suffer domestic chaos. And with two young children there are lots of domestic duties!

My business is expanding. I didn't look for this (I have a fairly modest lifestyle and don't need a bigger income), but I cannot ignore opportunities. Businesses either improve or get worse - they never stay the same. I owe it to my employees to make sure that my business doesn't get worse so that they continue to have job security.

A few weeks ago, Marie spilled a drink into her laptop and killed it. The next week, she tripped while carrying my laptop and damaged parts of the hard drive, but it still functioned - just about... And then my laptop got a serious virus (my antivirus protection was up-to-date, but it doesn't stop everything) which took a week to sort out and damaged more sectors in my hard drive. It was time to renew the laptops, so we put the wheels in motion and while waiting for the new laptops to arrive, hired one...but Marie broke the screen... No laptops means no internet shopping - Marie's only means of retail therapy - and major problems for the smooth running of my business.

Then my employees started to fall ill...

Ok, the worst is over...I hope! For example, I'm using the first of the new laptops. Marie has the laptop on just about every waking hour, but she's several hours into one of her extended sleeps at the moment so I get to try it out now. The next couple of weeks will be quite hectic, but less than of late, and I'm going to try to find another suitable employee to ease the pressure. After that, things should settle down a bit.

Perhaps Marie will perk up a little.

I'm not complaining - well, perhaps I am just a little - because a lot of the complications in my life are the result of my own actions. If I was like my more normal contemporaries, I would have a couple of grown-up children living on their own who occasionally visit me to show off their children, a non-demanding job with regular hours, I would be looking forward to retirement with my post-menopausal wife and I would have a comfortable cardigan and a nice, worn, comfortable pair of slippers...

Would I swap that lifestyle for my current one?

Definitely not!

WE STAY AT GRANDMA'S HOUSE by Joseph & Orla

Joe: Mummy said “Do you want to go to Grandma’s & Granddad’s house with me for a few days?” I said “No” ‘cos I thought I might be bored ‘cos Mummy can’t take us out anywhere & I didn’t want to leave Daddy on his own. But Mummy said “Granddad will take you out & I’ll be able to play with you more ‘cos I won’t have housework to do all day.” Daddy said that he would only be a little bit lonely & anyway he’d join us a few days later, so I said, “Ok.”

Orla: Mummy say “We go Grandma’s, see Rafael & Sachin & Auntie Kim & Auntie Karen & Granddad & Annie [Granddad's dog].”

Left to Right; Auntie Karen, Raphael, Grandma,Sachin & Auntie Kim

Joe: I hate going to Grandma’s & Granddad’s in the car. It takes hours. I say to Mummy “Are we nearly there?” lots of times & she says, “For God’s sake Joe, just be patient.” When we got there, Granddad took us to the beach.

Orla: I see Raphael. She a baby. Mummy say “Raphael not ‘she’ Raphael ‘he’, he boy”. I say “No him girl. All my babies [her dolls] girls.” Auntie Karen not let me hold Raphael on my knee. She say Orla too small. I crying. Granddad say “No more crying”, he give me weetie [sweet]. Raphael crying. I give her dummy.

Joe: Orla was naughty & wouldn’t go to bed for Mummy for a long time.

Orla: Dora [the doll which shares Orla’s bed] not here. Orla want Daddy put me bed. I crying. Want my Daddy.

Joe: Granddad had to go out sometimes & Mummy played with us. We did drawing & painted & did craft things. It was good. Then Granddad took me & Orla to the beach. I got lots of shells to show Daddy when he comes. We did lots of digging and found loads of interesting things lying on the beach. There were lots of people on the beach & Granddad talked to lots of them. Some of them were funny & some of them were boring.

Orla: Orla like go beach with Granddad. It very fun. Joey not nice to me. Him shout at me, I crying. Granddad say “You be nice to Orla, Joseph” & him give me weetie.

Joe: We went out with Auntie Kim & Sachin. It was a bit boring. But it wasn’t very boring. It was ok really.

Orla: I play with Sachin & Auntie Kim. Auntie Kim got dogs. I not allowed play with them. Auntie Kim & Sachin very fun.

Joe: When Daddy came, we went out every day. We went to the Sea Life Centre. I liked the sharks best. Daddy likes stingrays. I liked the octopus too. There were cool rides there. My favourite was the Tug, which swings fast & turns around at the same time, and the ride which takes you up high & then you drop down. It made me tummy feel funny. We made an ornament out of coloured sand to take back to Mummy.

Orla: I like sea horsy. It funny. I like pink fish. I like funny fish swim up to my finger. Them not eat it! We go on boat, it go round fast. I scared but Daddy hold me. Then it fun. Orla only little bit scared. I like seat go up & down. It very fun, tickle my tummy. I like roundabout.

Joe: One day Grandma took us into town to see the Olympic medallists. I don’t really understand the Olympics but it was fun to be with lots of people waving flags. Then we went to McDonalds and got a free toy. Daddy met us & we went shopping for school clothes for me and Orla. Daddy gets them because Mummy has agoraphobia. Sometimes she orders them from the internet. We were looking for a jacket & shoes & socks for me. I got nice shoes, they look like trainers. I liked a blue jacket but Daddy said that it wasn’t warm enough. Grandma saw a black jacket but I didn’t like it even though she tried to get me to like it. So I didn’t get any jacket at all but that’s ok ‘cos it’s not very cold yet.

Orla: Grandma get Orla flag same as Joey’s. Grandma give me weeties & toy in Mitdonna’s. Daddy get me jacket. It purple. I wet myself in big shop, only little bit.

Joseph looking after his little sister on a ride at Adventure Wonderland

Joe: Daddy took me & Orla to Adventure Wonderland. We left even before Mummy got up! It was quite a long journey & Daddy told me not to say “Are we nearly there yet?” all the time. I tried not to, but sometimes I forgot. Adventure Wonderland is wicked! It has cool rides & I could go on all of them. Even by myself! The roller coaster train was a little bit scary & Orla didn’t like it & the swinging boat went really high & Orla didn’t like that either but I went on them loads of times! There was a big indoor play area too with guns that shoot plastic balls and big slides. We had lunch in the café & even ice cream. And I liked the maze. We got lost. We stayed all day & I didn’t even get bored! We got home quite late & Orla was asleep in the car. It was the best day of my life!!!

Joseph goes on the swinging ship by himself!

Orla: Mummy not go with us. Joey say her have aggafofey [agoraphobia]. Me not like twain [train roller coaster]. Me not like boat swing iva [either]. It scare Orla. Orla like teacups & flying effelants [elephants] and lollipops [a swinging chair ride]. It very fun. Orla not like twain. I not wet myself.

Orla goes on the lollipop by herself

Joe: Granddad took us to the beach next day & then we went home.

Orla: Granddad good boy take Orla beach. Mummy and Daddy and Grandma good girl. Orla good girl too.