2007 - NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming

Maria is an OK magazine reader. Celebrities influence her.

In previous careers, I mixed with celebrities. Mostly celebrities in the music business, but some actors too. They're just people like you and me. They've got hang-ups, fears and worries just like we have, even if they've got pots of money. Celebrity status does NOT impress me - almost the opposite, in fact. When YOU do a good job, carry out a task well, operate efficiently...do YOU need lots of applause to carry on? Most celebs do. They've got huge inferiority complexes or self-confidence issues or similar and that's why they need constant adulation. Ooops, I've gone off on one...

Marie's first encounter with NLP was unsatisfactory, but it wasn't with the celebrity practitioner - Paul McKenna. That's what Marie wanted. However, that's not what Paul McKenna wanted, but his organisation has a select list of associates whom he recommends. Marie reckoned that the closer an associate was to Paul, the closer she was getting to him.

And, of course, Marie believed that the more you pay, the more you get...

The 2 Pauls, Wright (left) and McKenna
Paul Wright is close to Paul McKenna, is a trainer in the P McK organisation, is a recommended associate; and is very expensive. £300 for a session. In advance. Marie wanted him. He's got a couple of websites, one of which is called PhobiaGone.com

So I took a day off work and we drove about 150 miles to his house near Windsor. We were expecting a large detached residence in well-manicured grounds, possibly a miniature Windsor castle, but his house turned out to be a small (but very well presented) semi-detached house with an aging sports car outside. He made Marie feel comfortable with his jovial attitude and I read a book for longer than I expected - 2 hours, 20minutes, to be precise - while Marie and Paul were in a different room.

A happy Marie with Paul Wright
Marie was on a high after this session and we went to Windsor town centre (full of expensive, trendy shops) where I found a parking space in the main street. Marie eagerly got out of the car to test the efficacy of her NLP session...but was disappointed to find out that her agoraphobia hadn't been "turned off". But she did do better than usual and was able to explore several small shops and buy some unnecessary, overpriced gifts.

A few days later, Marie received a CD-Rom containing her whole NLP session. She watches parts of it occasionally, and Paul rings her from time to time. But really, nothing has changed.

2006 - Jenna's Wedding

Jenna wanted to get married. Luckily, her fiancé did, too! But she had no money... So I gave her a budget and told her to get on with it. Her mother contributed a little, too, as did her fiancé's family.

Jenna lives near me, but all of her mother's side of her family and her fiancé's family live in Ireland...and most of them refused to come to England for her wedding. So Jenna and Colin (her fiancé) decided to have their wedding in Ireland. This was an additional expense for me and her siblings, all of whom live near me; but we all went to her wedding anyway. She's worth it!

On top of this, Jenna's mother and her family didn't like Colin (still don't!) and there was the real possibility of trouble at the wedding.

Joseph & Orla dressed up for Jenna's Wedding

Marie, who had been to Ireland twice, couldn't face going this time AND was so anxious about the whole affair that she didn't want me to go either. Sometimes I have to be firm and do the right thing, even if it causes Marie anxiety. So I put up with her bad mood and tantrums right up to the day I was leaving. Marie had to go to her parents' house while I was away. The children went with me.

Jenna & Colin (right) tie the knot

Since Marie wasn't accompanying me, we were able to fly to Ireland and hire a car, thus saving a couple of days' travel. I took the kids to visit my last surviving Aunt, pleasing her a great deal. We had booked into a really great hotel where the children were made to feel welcome. The staff couldn't have been nicer. Marie and I kept in constant touch with each other by mobile phone (creating a HUGE bill!) and she seemed to be coping with life without me in the same building quite well.

In the event, all passed off well. There was no trouble, although not everybody mixed with everybody else, and some guests couldn't even manage a smile during the entire proceedings! Funny thing about the Irish - they're the friendliest people on the planet...EXCEPT TO EACH OTHER

2006 - The Sharon Osbourne Show and EFTS

Marie rushed into my office in an ecstasy of excitement. It was late summer, and she had been a little down due to the failure of her NLP therapy.

"I'm going to be on the Sharon Osbourne Show!"

Sharon Osbourne

This I just couldn't imagine. Why would Sharon Osbourne, famous TV personality and rock star's wife, want Marie on her show? And how would Marie, who at this moment in time had difficulty getting into a public toilet without panicking, get into the TV studio?

(You can click on this link for info on Mrs Osbourne
http://www.sharonosbourne.com/ )

When she calmed down, she explained it to me. While surfing the 'net one day, Marie had stumbled across The Sharon Osbourne Show (British version) and on their site, they mentioned that they were looking for people to help with specific problems - part of their feel-good, public spirit agenda (yes, I'm a cynic when it comes to the media). Marie emailed the show, and after a while, they came back to her with a proposition - they would feature her on a programme in her current agoraphobic condition, and then, after some Emotional Freedom Techniques therapy (EFT), which Marie and I had never heard of, they would feature the new improved, panic-free, anxiety-free, agoraphobia-free Marie on another show. Marie would get free therapy, get "cured" in a couple of weeks, and Sharon Osbourne would look a kind and caring miracle-worker on her show.

It sounded too good to be true.

Emma Roberts
However, within a couple of days, The S. O. Show had arranged to visit us for a day of on-location film shooting complete with the leading EFT therapist in London - Emma Roberts - a lady who charges £80 for an hour-long therapy phone-call. The therapist had called to get Marie's background and explain EFT to Marie. She told Marie that she wasn't charging the S. O. Show for the therapy - she would get lots of publicity instead.

The day of shooting arrived soon and the camera crew spent a whole day filming Marie with and without the therapist, the therapist with and without Marie, and me taking the kids to the local playground without their mother. Joseph got interviewed. Did he wish his Mum could come to the playground too? -Yes. Did Mummy go out anywhere with him? -Just to see Grandma and Granddad. Would he like Mum to get better? -Yes. ....and more such intelligent questions in between shots of him and Orla going on the swings and slide etc. Emma the therapist was a very pleasant 40-something well-spoken lady who seemed very genuine and confident of her therapy. She told Marie that even after The S. O. Show finished, she would keep in touch with Marie and, if necessary, give her more telephone therapy at no cost. "I'll never abandon you" she said. And Marie really liked her, too. Who could ask for more?

The next day, for the first time ever, Marie went out in her car alone. Over the following days, she drove to local shops, took Joseph to school (but didn't go into the building) and drove to friends' houses. None of these trips were more than a mile in distance, but it was still a big breakthrough. The EFT lady and The S. O. Show team were delighted and set a date for Marie's appearance in the studio for a live interview with Sharon Osbourne. It was to be the last show of the series.

Alas, that was the only noticeable progress which EFT brought Marie. By the week of the proposed appearance on The Sharon Osbourne Show, it was obvious that Marie wasn't going to be able to make it into the studio, and there was nothing of interest to film. The crew said that they might come back to us for an appearance in the next series, but due to falling viewing numbers (same as in Sharon's USA chat show a couple of years earlier), a next series was never commissioned.

True to her word, the EFT lady, Emma, phoned Marie at least once a week for some months until Marie suggested that she should take a break. Even now, she rings occasionally to see how Marie is doing. Nice lady. It's a pity things didn't work out better.