Tuesday, 30 December 2008

My Autistic Son – part 1 – The Difficult Child

On a cold, wet, Belfast morning in spring, Sandra had a sharp, severe abdominal pain. She knew instinctively that it was the onset of labour. It was the moment she had been waiting for, all these months. There was no panic – she had had the text-book pregnancy. Her husband, Robert, was at work, but waiting for THE CALL to come and take her to the hospital. Less than an hour later she was in the delivery suite of the local maternity hospital.

It was 1980 and men-waiting-to-be-fathers were relegated to the waiting room. It was draughty, not very warm, filled with cigarette smoke and the grey, uncomfortable, plastic chairs were arranged in rows like a small theatre. The décor was typical of the late 20th century utilitarian style with sickly pastel green gloss walls enhanced by fluorescent strip lighting encased in yellowing plastic diffusers. By way of diversion, the management had thoughtfully provided some dog-eared 1978 ladies' journals and a few grubby vintage home decoration magazines. On the walls were leaflet dispensers with helpful advice on contraception and where to go for treatment for sexually transmitted infections. Apart from a background noise of a busy hospital, the only sounds came from the public address system and the occasional occupant of the waiting room saying to a neighbour that if anyone was looking for him, he had just gone to the toilet/to get a drink/to buy fags and he would be back in a couple of moments; or a nurse would appear and ask “Is Mr ---- here? Oh, there you are. Congratulations! You have a lovely little baby boy/girl. You can come and see your wife now.” About 12 hours later, Robert had read all the available magazines, irrespective of their content and was having a fun time learning about the symptoms of genital herpes. He was relaxed. Although this was his wife's first child, it would be his second. A nurse appeared and called his name. No cheery “Congratulations!” for him – just a short message; “Your wife won't be giving birth for quite a while. Why don't you go home and give us a ring in the morning to see if there's any progress?” In the rush, Robert had forgotten to bring money with him to the hospital, so the prospect of a warm drink and a decent meal was very attractive indeed. He left without delay.

Next morning there was no news so Robert went to work. It wasn't until the mid-afternoon of the following day that he received a phone call. It was the “Congratulations! Speech” but had an addendum. Robert was, indeed, the proud father of a baby boy, but he was a “difficult child”. He had been a sleepy baby who didn't cry immediately after birth; the birth had been difficult and eventually a Caesarean section procedure had been carried out. His wife was recovering from her ordeal and his son was in the intensive care unit of the maternity unit. Robert would be contacted when it was possible to see either or both of them. There was no point in coming to the hospital just yet, he was informed.

The next call came the following morning. Robert was told that, all things considered, Sandra was doing fine; but having endured 48 hours' labour and the loss of a lot of blood, it would be another day or two before he could see her. He could see his son, but he had been removed to The Royal Belfast Hospital for Sick Children. It was suggested that he went there as soon as possible. Apparently his son had volvulus, a twisted gut. Robert left for the hospital immediately.

At the hospital, he was met in the corridor by the surgeon, complete with green theatre outfit and wellington boots, who was just about to operate on his son. The surgeon was upbeat. The operation was uncomplicated and 100% success was the anticipated outcome. Robert would be able to see his son in an hour or two. Longer term, no further problems were expected. The only consequence of the operation would be that Robert's son would have a scar on his abdomen.

Indeed, just over two hours later, Robert was summoned to the neonatal intensive care unit, where his son was in an incubator. Robert's first sighting of his son revealed a very sick looking baby with what appeared to be a huge incision right across his abdomen and a distended stomach, surrounded by wires and monitors. (Similar to the photo.) The Ward Nurse explained to Robert that his son had been poisoning himself with the waste that his twisted gut had prevented from exiting his body. He would look better in a couple of days. The operation had been a complete success.

For the next month, Robert spent nearly all of his free time at the children's hospital, where, after a couple of days, he was able to nurse his son (although still attached to a mutitude of wires), change and feed him. The emotion Robert felt welling up inside him for this helpless infant was so intense that it was almost torturous. When he wasn't at the children's hospital, he was at the maternity unit where, for two weeks, his wife Sandra stayed to recuperate after having her “difficult baby”. After leaving the maternity unit, Sandra accompanied Robert to the children's hospital. It was the first time that she had seen her baby – her firstborn.

She accompanied Robert several times subsequently until at last, the baby was discharged with a clean bill of health. The family home, eerily quiet since Sandra had left to give birth, was now a busy, happy place where the smell of baby formula mixed with the smell of wet terry nappies and the gurgles and occasional complaints of the new arrival.

Now read part 2.


Monday, 29 December 2008

UFO's?

This has nothing to do with anything I normally write about. It was inspired by a comment left on Steph's blog by Sarah. The subject of UFO's was raised. So here goes...

On Xmas eve I went to my daughter Colleen's house in Taunton, where she , Carla & Collette were hosting a birthday party for me (yes, my birthday is on Christmas Eve). It had been a beautiful day, and the evening was bright and clear with lots of stars and no moon.

At about 8 o'clock, my son-in-law, smoking a cigarette outside in the garden, called everyone outside to see the strange lights in the sky. We all piled out to see six (I think), fairly large, bright lights in the sky, all the same size, travelling in formation. Like a diamond with a tail. One by one they peeled off the formation, dimmed and slowly disappeared. My kids were outside, too, and we told them that it was Santa and his sleigh. When the lights had nearly all disappeared, we went inside again to continue our revelries.

It's only NOW that I am wondering what those lights were.

Ufo's? Surely not...

Saturday, 27 December 2008

Ghosts - more manefestations?

Maureen was nervous. The anniversary of the ghost's appearance was imminent. Would she reappear?


Close to the time that the ghost had appeared the previous year, she and her daughters Kim & Karen took up station on the passageway of the last sighting. Time moved slowly. Was the house more quiet than usual? Was that a noticeable drop in temperature?


The time of the anniversary came & went but everyone was disappointed that the ghost hadn't reappeared. More normal Christmas celebrations resumed and the ghost was forgotten.


Around midnight, Karen settled in to bed, tired, overfed but content and happy. She was in that semi-conscious world between being awake and asleep, when she was rudely brought back to full consciousness by loud knocking caming from the ceiling above her. After a couple of minutes, the noises moved to the wall behind her bed and then down the wall, diminishing in volume during their descent until all was quiet. After a few moments , Karen's battle with exhaustion was lost and she went into a deep sleep.


Next day, Marie & I, accompanied by our children, arrived at her family's house. Dinner followed soon afterwards. During dinner, the conversation moved to last year's apparition. Maureen told us about the non-event of the ghost's anniversary appearance. This apparently jogged Karen's memory and she relayed her previous night's noisy experiences. Maureen then told us that she, too, had heard noises which, based on Karen's description, were identical to those which Karen had heard.


I asked both Maureen and Karen to tell me which walls were involved with these strange noises. With Karen, it was a cavity wall – thus leaving open explanations for the noises such as central heating pipes expanding /contracting (although Karen said that she was used to those noises and these were much different) or perhaps mice or something similar. But Maureen's bedroom doesn't have any cavity walls...


I'm not offering any suggestions about how these noises occurred, normal or paranormal. I'm just relaying the events and the reader can draw their own conclusions.


I thought that these revelations might increase Marie's anxiety while in her parents' hotel-sized house, but they had no effect. We stayed there for 2 days, and Marie's school satchel sized handbag never left her shoulder during the whole time. A sure sign of anxiety. Despite this she and everyone else there had a really great time.