Agoraphobia lessening?

It's been a tough couple of months.

Marie has mostly been very anxious or depressed or sick or any combination of those three. I have been primary carer to our two children during the school holidays, while coping with the day-to-day running of my business at a peak trading time, dealing with the negotiations and logistics in the acquisition of another business and trying to solve complicated legal issues around the purchase of a small, neglected property. As if all that wasn't enough, we hosted two pairs of Austrian students attending an English language summer school.

I'm exhausted.

But there were lots of good times too. Happy family times. Lots of love from my little children and amazing support from my three older girls. Incredible assistance from my staff. I'm a lucky man.

And...

.......................just this week...

...Marie started to get out and about again, driving her car, walking short distances...

The worst is over, school starts again next week, Marie's rising from depression and we're all looking forward to better times.

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We had pretty good weather this summer, so we spent as much time outdoors as I could manage. Here we were sharing an al fresco tea with the first pair of Austrian students. Soon afterwards, they were playing football - quite well! - with Joseph, Orla and me. Marie took the photo.

Even wet days didn't dampen our enthusiasm for the outdoor life - as long as it was warm. We even had a family party and barbeque on a showery afternoon. It was a brilliant afternoon for all!

We visited Lilstock Beach Hut several times. There's a blog about it at...

http://lilstockbeachhut.blogspot.com/

where one can learn more about this.

I took the Austrian students here and they were fascinated!

Beautiful, warm, sunny evenings encourage one to stay at the beach until sunset. The Austrian students loved it!

Orla and her niece Elisha have birthdays in July only 13 days apart. It was logical, since Jenna, her husband and Elisha were on a very rare (and very enjoyable) visit to us in July, to have a combined birthday party. It proved to be a good decision!

Agoraphobia - same old same old...

Almost all the progress in diminishing Marie's agoraphobia have disappeared. Apart from a small improvement in her diet, all the agoraphobia-busting routines that she had observed have also disappeared, and with them the hope that she's making the effort to change her condition. I have to accept that Marie's inability to follow through with any sort of treatment or routine is part of her problem.

This means that the greater part of childcare - virtually all of it outside our home - continues to fall on me. I enjoy this immensely, but regret the absence of a mum for the children when embarking on excursions. And Marie misses so much - I sometimes wonder if she knows how much of her children's lives are currently inaccessible to her.

For example - here I am, making a fool of myself on the trampoline at Carla's house. Orla thought this was hysterically amusing. Marie wasn't able to get to the trampoline - it's about 10m from the back door of Carla's house.


The children love to "explore" and there is lots of exploration available all around us! Below, the ferns make this deer path seem like a trip through the jungle.


Marie may never see this pebble mound, on a beach a few miles from our home. Click on the picture if you want to read the inscription on the stone.


A dried-up ancient harbour is fascinating for children, who imagine pirate ships going in and out... In reality, all that passed through the entrance to this harbour were small goods ships carrying away the lime which was burned beside the harbour and bringing in coal to use in the lime kiln. But why spoil a good story by introducing the truth?


This is what that harbour looked like about 100 years ago. If you want to see the full-size picture, just click on it.




We have lots of beach activities. The children are never bored on a beach!


Plenty of activities for the children and me through the summer, then. Does Marie really know what she's missing? Perhaps I'm being somewhat pessimistic. Perhaps Marie will recover lost ground.

Nothing would make me happier.

Father's Day 2009

I had a really good Father's Day, sharing it with most of my family. Of my 7 children, only Jenna (living in Ireland) and Colm (happier at home) were absent, but both had sent Father's Day cards and phoned me. And of my grandchildren, only Elisha (living in Ireland) was missing.

Carla and her husband Jason hosted dinner for the 12 of us. Jason did the roast. Excellent job, Jason! Carla did the side dishes.

Jason surprised me by presenting me with 3 perfectly chilled bottles of my favourite beer - Newcastle Brown Ale - while saying, "My father hasn't been much good to me and you've been like a proper father to me." Jason's father deserted him when he was just a few years old and although they were reunited a few years ago, he doesn't bother with him much. I was both pleased and humbled by this gesture.

Here I am with 5 out of my 7 children.

I had a very enjoyable afternoon and evening.

Father's Day caused me to remember how fortunate I had been with my father, sadly no longer with me. I was also able to reflect on the passing of time and, of course, the unceasing countdown to my own demise. My oldest grandchild, Shannon - at the back of the group in the picture - is 14 now and dating. A great-grandchild within the next 10 years seems a real possibility. Am I that old? Then, having little children and grown-up children simultaneously suddenly seemed somewhat bizarre - unnatural perhaps? In any case, I can't change that - nor would I wish to!

Here the group includes Marie and 3 of my 4 grandchildren. This time next year, all being well, I'll have 2 more grandchildren!


My day actually started in Weymouth, at my Father-in-law's house, so Marie was able to share a little of Father's Day with him. He pretends to prefer his children to ignore Father's Day...but I saw him take his Father's Day cards to his desk for safekeeping!

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Joseph's school, Orla's nursery and the local parish church all ignore Father's Day. They observe Mother's Day, of course. This is the secular version of the Christian festival of Mothering Sunday and has been observed for centuries, while Father's Day only started to be observed about 100 years ago. Nevertheless, one would think that some formal acknowledgement of the role that fathers have in the lives of their children would be on the calendar of all religions and educational establishments. I wonder if many others agree with me...