Monday, 18 February 2008

The Sensitive Son and Agoraphobia


My son Joseph is 6½. Blue is his favourite colour - hence the colour of the type in this post. In this blog, there is a lot about how agoraphobia affects Marie (of course) and, by association, me. There isn't so much about how Marie's agoraphobia impacts on our children - particularly Joseph. So this is a little anecdote about him.

The weather being like a sunny spring day, albeit a little cold, Marie decided that she wanted to go out to the countryside. The children - particularly Joseph - were very enthusiastic about this idea. Now I knew that Marie wasn't going to venture more than a few metres away from the car, so I said to Joseph, "You know that your mum won't be able to go on a walk like we do when we're on our own. She'll have to stay close to the car and we won't be able to walk out of her eyesight. I don't want to hear you complaining about this and spoiling your mum's enjoyment of her trip." "Ok, dad," he replied and soon we were on our way.

About 30 minutes later, we arrived at our destination - a beautiful area of the Quantock Hills in Somerset above the hamlet of Triscombe.


Marie had suggested to the kids that they collect leaves, and later she would help them make them into a work of art (using paper, glue and paint). This kept them occupied for a while and then they started climbing (up banks, for Orla and up trees, for Joseph). They found a small pool and threw stones in it. Marie moved about in her safe area - an oval whose perimeter was about 4m from the car - admiring the beauty of the location and the views afforded by our elevated position, receiving leaves and taking photos. In this way, we spent a very pleasant hour or so.


Joseph was true to his word. He didn't once complain, even when he was told, on several occasions, not to go any further away. Then he surpassed himself. On the way home, he said to Marie, "Mum, I had a really good time out with you." This remark, designed to make his mum feel good about our trip had its desired effect. Marie was really pleased.


Now, isn't that a sensitive son?

10 comments:

Aff said...

Ahhhh... that's just too gorgeous for words. I bet her face was a picture when he said that.

Lovely!

Robert said...

Thanks for dropping in Aff. What are you up to these days?

anxiousbookworm said...

That was nice of Joseph. He sounds like a wonderful little boy. Glad that he understands at such a young age. Good to know you had a nice day outside with the family :-)

Robert said...

Charla, you're absolutely right - Joseph is a wonderful little boy. Of course, parents are supposed to feel like that about their children, but I can truthfully tell you that I never, ever, thought I would have such a great son as Joseph.

Gary said...

Marie seems to be doing really well Robert, and i'm sure what Joseph said will have a lasting impact on her!
Kids can be suprisingly tolerant at times with their parents under a crisis.

Lynn said...

Hi Robert, just got your comment. I am keeping up to date with your blog too, always have. Was telling Marie i can't believe how much Joseph looks like you!.

This post is great but also left me a little sad. I want to have kids and think i have a lot of love to give but i know its not about me and i dont want my childs life being restricted.

Luckily Marie is really trying to get herself sorted but in the meantime the kids are lucky to have a great father. Ive never had a chance to say before but i think you are a fantastic father and husband and you have the patience of a saint! Keep well x

Robert said...

Hey Lynn - are you trying to embarrass me here? I'm nothing special - I've just been lucky enough to marry a very special person! But thanks for the comment anyway :-)

Rachael Hale said...

you have beautiful children robert!

Robert said...

Thanks for the comment, Rachael. I cannot disagree wth you!

Rachael Hale said...

Thanks for the comment robert, i was unaware about that. my psychiatrist told me treatment for anxiety can be exspensive so doctors tend to just give medication. I really wish i had been given more help, but hey thats in the past, ive just got to be more determined now.