Sunday, 5 April 2009

The agoraphobic cares for her carer

"I guess it's a virus of some sort"... is a quote from my last post, when I had a day of wildly fluctuating temperatures.

I was wrong.

I am recovering from another bout of cellulitis.

This bout has followed more or less the same pattern as previous ones, but Marie's reaction has not. Unlike other times, when my daughters and other friends were drafted in to help with my needs and those of Joseph and Orla, this time Marie has coped with everything. She has done the shopping. The children have been prepared for and delivered to school, collected from school have been prepared for and put to bed. All done by Marie and all by herself. She has waited on me hand and foot, since, until today, I have been pretty useless to anybody.

I should be fully recovered in a few days and back to normal.

But I really hope that Marie's "normal" stays away!

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Agoraphobia & the incapacitated carer

Suddenly, just after picking up Orla from her nursery, I was laid low by a raging fever. I took the maximum amount of temperature reducing tablets, but to little avail. By the time I should have been collecting Joseph from school, I was weak and near-delirious.

Marie was not pleased. What could be done? She hasn't driven to Joseph's school on her own for many months.

All of a sudden, she took Orla and the large family car (she has a small hatchback of her own) and disappeared. I assumed that she had somehow mustered up the courage to pick up our son.

She didn't come back for a long time. If I hadn't been in a high-temperature induced sleep, I would have been worried.

Eventually she turned up, safe and sound, with both children, Easter eggs, chocolate cookies and other extremely fattening cakes and biscuits. Marie and the children had been to the school's Easter Fayre! She hasn't been in the main school hall for years!

Later she drove to her friend's house on the other side of town.

I used to be worried about how Marie would cope if I took seriously ill or worse. Today she showed me that she can do what's necessary when the need arises.

I'm so proud of her.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

My temperature has been up and down all afternoon and evening. I have a headache and a very sensitive stomach, but I'm a lot better than I was. I guess it's a virus of some sort (isn't everything, these days?) and it will go away in a day or too.

I hope Marie's progress lasts longer than that!

Children, sex, lesbian love and swinging


Children's innocent remarks are often entertaining and sometimes amusing, and probably never more so than when commenting or enquiring about potentially embarrassing aspects of sex.

For example, one morning Marie and I were feeling somewhat amorous. It was early in the morning and long before our children would awaken, ready for stomach-filling activities (aka breakfast). I won't go into great detail here, but to set the general scene, I must inform you dear readers that Marie and I had passed the initial amorous advances and were about to sample the main course....when we heard a small voice say, "Daddy!"

Immediately Marie and I froze. We directed our attention to the bedroom doorway, where Orla was standing, holding her "baby".

"Daddy", she continued in a serious lecturing tone, "you shouldn't go to sleep on mummy. It's not nice!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
At the advanced age of 7, Joseph is already quite well informed on the mechanics of procreation. However, one evening, he appeared troubled, and approached Marie for illumination.

"Mummy", he started, "you know that ladies have to be married to have a baby..."
"Well, they don't have to be married - they can have a partner," Marie suggested.
"I know that!" was his disdainful reply. "But Auntie X...she has a girl partner, and she has a baby. How did she get her baby? Two ladies can't make a baby, can they?"
"No, they can't. Auntie X had to go to a hospital to get pregnant." At this point, Marie is wondering how much more explaining she will have to do.
"What did they do at the hospital?"
"Auntie X got some man stuff there." Marie is getting desperate here. Will she have to explain everything?

She was in luck. Joseph had received all the information he needed at that time. Somehow I have a feeling that we'll be revisiting that subject again...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

On an entirely different subject...

Pushing a toddler on the swing is one of the less interesting tasks undertaken by parents. To alleviate the boredom, one day, I carefully positioned myself in front of the toddler of the day in just the right place so that I could be kicked gently while pretending that, looking in the other direction, I was totally unaware of this. TOTD obligingly kicked me in the backside and I performed an exaggerated jump of (mock) surprise. TOTD thought this was absolutely hilarious, and I had to keep repeating this antic ad nauseum.

Since then, I have repeated this exercise with many toddlers. Every single one has found it exceptionally amusing and the only problem has been for the toddlers to avoid laughing themselves sick.

Of course, once they get older they outgrow this.

Joseph, who is one of the children who has outgrown this activity must have fond memories of it. Recently, I left him and Orla to amuse themselves on a playground while I amused the dog. on the grass nearby. As I was returning to the playground, I noticed Joseph entertaining Orla on the swing in a similar manner to that in which I had amused him a couple of years ago. I managed to capture some of this with my trusty Sony Ericcson mobile phone, and the result is below.

Joseph and Orla have the normal sibling rivalries and rows of course. However, Joseph often exhibits care and affection for his little sister, and she, naturally, dotes on him. Here he is amusing Orla by copying me. I am both flattered and proud.